Wednesday, October 05, 2005
And now, I don't usually address individual people here, but I would like to respond to two gentlemen I encountered today at the bus stop.
Today I was walking to the bus stop, deep in thought. Thoughts such as "I can't believe Paris and Paris are no more! When will another celebrity couple share both the same name and insane stockpiles of inherited wealth?" And "I can't believe Nick and Jessica couldn't work it out! I just saw them in US Weekly, and they were holding hands! Does holding hands mean nothing anymore?" And of course, "Poor Kate Moss. My favorite supermodel ever, felled by her own nostrils. I thought her crazy eyes were just naturally crazy eyes, but I guess they were more like coked-up crazy eyes."
And while I was mulling these issues, I passed you two young men, both wearing yellow construction helmets. As I passed you, you both shouted, almost in unison. One of you shouted, "SMILE! IT'S A NICE DAY!" And the other of you yelled, "WHY YOU HAVE SUCH A MEAN FACE?"
I appreciate your comments, good sirs! Indeed, the day is nice, and I cannot claim to have been smiling. But I must take some umbrage at the description of my face as "mean." Like, nasty? Snarling? Scary? I hardly think that's accurate. I have a serious face and I'm not a smiley girl, but that does not a mean face make.
Also? You are not the first interested party to stop me on the street and tell me to smile. And the resulting ricktus of a smile, filled with annoyance and probably a little bit of fear (strange men with loud commands make me nervous--my bad!), would certainly make you feel less happy than you were before encountering me.
Oh, and also? SHUT IT.
Why should we always have some blank moronic smile on our faces to prove we are a content being?