Susie Cupcakes

1. Next time you go to New York, get your camera out and ready at all times. Otherwise you risk missing an otherwise normal looking woman wearing a dirty apron backwards. Thank the lord for Dr. Hectic/Mr. Cupcakes.

2. Next time you go to New York, do not make the trip from your home and back again in 27 hours. That is not enough time to savor the stank that is New York City in July.

3. Next time you go to New York, do not go on a national holiday when all you can do is make a Titanic-style hand press against the glass window of the Rescue Beauty Lounge.

4. Next time your boss falls in a horrifying accident and breaks her arm, do not offer her water unless you actually have water on your person.

5. Always have water on your person.

6. You need to finish L.A. Confidential. I don't care that it's given you nightmares and had to be returned to the library because you ran out of renewals. I'm asking you to do it. For me.

7. Do not be ashamed that you renewed your subscription to US Weekly. It provides critical information on the vital currency of our day: celebrity. Also, where to get a cubic zirconium engagement ring just like Jessica's. And you read it ironically. And voraciously.

8. Please stop feeling so sorry for stray cats that dart in the road and are clearly in danger, because you might take them home and then they swat and hiss at you for coming anywhere in a six foot radius of them. And you'll get scratched for trying to, say, pick up your shoes.

9. You've bought five pairs of shoes in the past month. You might want to slow down.

10. Vacation is just two weeks away. HOORAY!