Thursday, January 25, 2007


New, big problem

Today I went to the dentist. I'm not dentist-phobic, but it's not at the top of my to-do list, which is why I went this long without going. And you know what? I should never, ever have gone back because today, I was told that I have

(that's scary organ music)


How terrifying! It's like I was assembled from random, leftover parts. Like Frankenstein! Soon I'm going to be yelping out "Putting on the Ritz" and smashing lab equipment and gosh, I don't know what else. What do Frankensteins do with the rest of their lives?

My specific problem is that my upper jaw is, and I quote, "much, much bigger" than my lower jaw. Observe:

Artist's rendering

Y'all, why didn't you tell me?

What!?!? What kind of crackhead dentists do they have out there? I've never heard of such a thing. If it comes down to it, though, I'll feed you pureed food through a straw like my mom did for my dad when he had is jaws wired shut. Yes, long story. But regardless... for you, my love, purreed peas.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?