Thursday, June 26, 2008



I'm totally off knitting these days. I haven't picked up the needles in a week, despite getting one skein of delicious Noro sock yarn for my birthday, and a second one as part of a trade at work. Maybe it's the muggy weather, or some kind of nervous energy preventing me from knitting. It's my -1 (minus one) month anniversary today. It's getting close! I have neither transformed into a lithe goddess nor have I learned French well enough to even order a sandwich. Except for "Croque Monsieur," which doesn't really count as it's the only thing I retained from high school French, plus I don't eat ham.

Tante pis.

Work has been particularly grating and perhaps this is why, while getting ready this morning, I began a list in my head called Things That Are Vile.

Things that are vile
1) When US Weekly doesn't arrive until Saturday. It's very hard to feel like the work week has ended unless I can erase any knowledge of "history" or "technology" learned over the past week with this industrial strength scouring pad of gossip and blurry photographs. The New Yorker, my faithful Tuesday pal, doesn't work for this.
2) The Supreme Court today and Scalia's bizarre argument that guns are the preferred weapons of the populace since you can hold it in one hand while dialing the police with the other.* As opposed to knives, pepper spray, baseball bats, heavy wrenches, lead pipes, candlesticks, etc. Has my all-time favorite movie taught us nothing about the many types of weapons available to us as a people?
3) Watching Emeril Lagasse chop vegetables with his big mitts. Just can't stand it.
4) The man who stood yelling in my street for two hours on Sunday night because he was drunk, confused, angry, and apparently locked/kicked out of his own home. While there is a perverse thrill in being an NNN (Nosy Nextdoor Neighbor) and seeing what will happen next, sleep is a wholesome thrill and sorely missed when lacking. The police eventually came and suggested, an an authoratative way, that he go to bed. And he did. And finally I did too.

I guess there aren't so many vile things to complain about. It's all a matter of perspective, and there are definitely some good things coming up. Whew. Thanks for letting me vent, peeps!

*Not kidding: "There are many reasons that a
citizen may prefer a handgun for home defense: It is easier
to store in a location that is readily accessible in an emergency;
it cannot easily be redirected or wrestled away by
an attacker; it is easier to use for those without the upperbody
strength to lift and aim a long gun; it can be pointed
at a burglar with one hand while the other hand dials the

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Sister! What are you doing watching Emeril for more than a split second? I change the channel IMMEDIATELY if I happen to stumble upon his show.


(That's the sound of me violently changing the channel in an attempt to escape the vile Emeril.)

Perhaps he has something to do with your lack of knitting...
Seriously, have you ever tried to dial the phone with your non-dominant hand? Obviously Scalia hasn't. It ain't easy. And the man has not watched enough movies to realize that guns get wrestled away from people all the time. Sigh. Anyway, I'm glad you got that off your chest so that you can focus on more wonderful things coming up! :-)
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