Tuesday, November 25, 2008
November 25
I am so excited: I got an American Girl catalog in the mail today! Tell me, how did I get on this list? My subscription to Gourmet? Ordering things from Ann Taylor Loft? The Lego stuff I ordered for Alex last year? However I fell onto this most auspicious mailing list, I want to stay!
Have you ever wanted to see Susie C. in doll form? Okay!
This is the "Just Like You" version of me. I'm really quite stunning. I mean stunned. (By the way, this is what is considered "short" blond hair.)
I used to get this catalog when I was a legitimate American girl and always wanted to have all the fancy clothes and accessories, which was clearly impossible because the dolls wore clothes more expensive than I did. That was when they just had historically-based dolls with accompanying costumes. My favorite was Samantha, the rich Victorian girl. I mean seriously, do you want to be a poor Swedish immigrant when you can wear giant velvet hair bows? (Note: This may be some kind of sick instinctual affection, being that I am descended from poor Swedish immigrants.) But in any case, I was dismayed to see that Samantha is being fricking phased out! She's going into the "American Girl Archives." Question: do children no longer like giant velvet hair bows? Second question: How do I get a job at the American Girl Archives?
My friend Anastasia wrote a brilliant essay about the American Girl phenomenon that is unfortunately not online (if it is, let me know, Stas!). It is truly a bizarre phenomenon and if you can visit a store, please please do. We visited the Chicago store and it's an experience we can never forget. If you haven't seen someone pay $10 to get their doll's hair put into pigtails, you're really missing out.
Have you ever wanted to see Susie C. in doll form? Okay!
This is the "Just Like You" version of me. I'm really quite stunning. I mean stunned. (By the way, this is what is considered "short" blond hair.)I used to get this catalog when I was a legitimate American girl and always wanted to have all the fancy clothes and accessories, which was clearly impossible because the dolls wore clothes more expensive than I did. That was when they just had historically-based dolls with accompanying costumes. My favorite was Samantha, the rich Victorian girl. I mean seriously, do you want to be a poor Swedish immigrant when you can wear giant velvet hair bows? (Note: This may be some kind of sick instinctual affection, being that I am descended from poor Swedish immigrants.) But in any case, I was dismayed to see that Samantha is being fricking phased out! She's going into the "American Girl Archives." Question: do children no longer like giant velvet hair bows? Second question: How do I get a job at the American Girl Archives?
My friend Anastasia wrote a brilliant essay about the American Girl phenomenon that is unfortunately not online (if it is, let me know, Stas!). It is truly a bizarre phenomenon and if you can visit a store, please please do. We visited the Chicago store and it's an experience we can never forget. If you haven't seen someone pay $10 to get their doll's hair put into pigtails, you're really missing out.
Labels: creepy, dolls, nablopomo
Monday, January 14, 2008
Hidden millions in your pants
I just got back yesterday from southern California, a quick trip for a great conference. I like having a hotel room to myself (no offense to awesome roomies, such as Mr. Cupcakes) just because you can lie around and watch Law & Order and get room service and generally feel fabulous. I guess except for room service, life at home is not so different. I just really love ordering things and having them show up in your room. Perhaps I should train the cats.
In addition to my general sloth, I enjoyed getting to know the Claremont corner of southern California. Seeing things like this
on January 11 is nothing short of miraculous. Even North Carolina doesn't work that kind of magic.
On my free afternoon, I got in my super-hot rental car (well, a Kia Optima with a scrape on the side) and took some new friends out for a spin. I experienced the wonders of traveling on LA freeways. There was even a huge tire fire that shut down part of the highway. How authentically hellish! The quintessential Cali experience. After only an hour or three, we made it to Malibu.
Malibu is really pretty, with 1960s-era angular houses tumbling over the rocky cliffs. We drove through some of the little neighborhoods and everyone was, like, roller skating and washing their Lexuses (Lexi?) and generally being highly all-American. I can see why some people put up with tire fires in exchange for gorgeous sunset views and warm weather year-round. After Malibu, we drove up Sunset Boulevard (yes, THAT Sunset Boulevard) and cruised through Bel Air, Beverly Hills, and Hollywood. I saw the Hollywood sign, the Capital Records building, the Kodak Theatre, the stars on the walk of fame, the original Frederick's of Hollywood, the palm-lined boulevards of Beverly Hills (90210) and people dressed up as Jedis. It was quantitatively awesome. The only way it could have been better is if Britney herself had appeared and perhaps hit my car.
There is always a dark side, though, as all Jedis know. For example, look what I found the the ladies' room of a middle eastern restaurant:
That is appalling. And environmentally unsound. And your eyes do not deceive: a baby has been placed inside a cleaning bucket next to a bidet.
After witnessing this testament to depravity, I came back to my hotel room to discover this:
Hidden millions in your pants? I tried for, like, 3o seconds to figure out what was happening with this caption but I was scarred with images of toilet paper-wrapped babies and cash stuffed pants and had to turn on some Law & Order and unwind. And a little room service really takes the edge off, you know?
In addition to my general sloth, I enjoyed getting to know the Claremont corner of southern California. Seeing things like this
on January 11 is nothing short of miraculous. Even North Carolina doesn't work that kind of magic.On my free afternoon, I got in my super-hot rental car (well, a Kia Optima with a scrape on the side) and took some new friends out for a spin. I experienced the wonders of traveling on LA freeways. There was even a huge tire fire that shut down part of the highway. How authentically hellish! The quintessential Cali experience. After only an hour or three, we made it to Malibu.
Malibu is really pretty, with 1960s-era angular houses tumbling over the rocky cliffs. We drove through some of the little neighborhoods and everyone was, like, roller skating and washing their Lexuses (Lexi?) and generally being highly all-American. I can see why some people put up with tire fires in exchange for gorgeous sunset views and warm weather year-round. After Malibu, we drove up Sunset Boulevard (yes, THAT Sunset Boulevard) and cruised through Bel Air, Beverly Hills, and Hollywood. I saw the Hollywood sign, the Capital Records building, the Kodak Theatre, the stars on the walk of fame, the original Frederick's of Hollywood, the palm-lined boulevards of Beverly Hills (90210) and people dressed up as Jedis. It was quantitatively awesome. The only way it could have been better is if Britney herself had appeared and perhaps hit my car.There is always a dark side, though, as all Jedis know. For example, look what I found the the ladies' room of a middle eastern restaurant:
That is appalling. And environmentally unsound. And your eyes do not deceive: a baby has been placed inside a cleaning bucket next to a bidet.After witnessing this testament to depravity, I came back to my hotel room to discover this:
Hidden millions in your pants? I tried for, like, 3o seconds to figure out what was happening with this caption but I was scarred with images of toilet paper-wrapped babies and cash stuffed pants and had to turn on some Law & Order and unwind. And a little room service really takes the edge off, you know?Labels: California, creepy, travel
